Sea-son (noun): one of the four periods of the year (spring, summer, autumn, and winter), beginning astronomically at an equinox or solstice, but geographically at different dates in different climates (www.dictionary.com)
I realize that defining the word “season” seems rudimentary and unnecessary as it very commonly used, but I have noticed much confusion stem from such a simple word. Now in New England, Mother Nature is extremely finicky and our “seasons” (dubbed once by my friend Ashley and myself as Icy Death, Rain, Humidity, and Fall) are ill-defined. It was 80 degrees within the first few weeks of March, but it rained for 28 out of 30 days in June 2008. We could wake up to a Nor’easter tomorrow morning in April, or experience a balmy 65 degree day in December. It is a frustration that meterologists across the Commonwealth experience on a daily basis. So I sympathize with those of us who are easily confused by the constant uncertainty of New England weather and are either routinely under- or over-dressed. But there are certain clothing items that are clearly meant to be worn in only one season of the year, with very little overlap. One of those said items is shorts.
I’ve noticed a recent trend in walking the length of Boston University’s campus (where fashion trends are…interesting to say the least), where girls are wearing shorts with tights underneath for these current cold days that ideally should be spring-like. Now you would think that I would be pleased that these young ladies are covering their legs with SOMETHING, but alas, I have a fundamental problem with this clothing choice. Because you see, we are in dangerous territory of a no pants situation when your shorts are of summer-length (i.e. half your ass is hanging out), but your coat is of winter-length.
Let me dissect this a bit further. Your summer wardrobe is inevitably different than your winter wardrobe, no? Because what we have here is a seasonal mis-match. We have a summer item paired with a winter item. The winter item is too long for the summer item, plain and simple. I know YOU know you have something covering your ass underneath that coat, but I have no clue. So from MY perspective, you are wearing tights and a peacoat. And at this point, you leave me no choice but to get my camera and take your picture. You only have yourself to blame.
Look ladies, I know you feel that Boston winters are long and cruel and all you want is that glorious day when you can wake up, put flip flops and a skirt on, and breathe in that summer air. I long for it too. But I have my shorts safely tucked away for just such an occasion. Shorts prefer to be accompanied by bare legs anyway. There’s nothing to compete with for attention, and it’s much easier to go to the bathroom. Besides, it’s already April. Summer really is around the corner, you just have to wait a little bit longer. Stay strong. Keep the shorts where they belong right now…in your closet.