Archive for May 2011

No Pants Sighting of the Day

May 2, 2011

Location: Around and about the Pru, the epicenter of Anime Boston, a.k.a. Giant Freakshow 2011.

Offense: Once a year, a whole gaggle o’ high school-aged, acne-ridden, papier mache-wielding crazies invades the Back Bay for some good ol’ fashion LARPing. These teenagers have spent weeks crafting their costumes to resemble their anime heroes, including Pikachu and Sailor Moon (sorry, those two complete the list of anime characters I can name), and flood into Boston for an epic meeting of the minds. My co-worker and I took a stroll through the madness, and got the distinct feeling walking through the courtyard that we were dropped in the middle of a zoo. We observed as they fought with giant cardboard scythes–wild animals in their natural habitat. Unfortunately for them, the general public perusing the Pru shops did not anticipate needing to buy aquarium tickets in addition to their dose of Pinkberry. They didn’t quite expect uber-nerds in leotards and capes.

Verdict: There is no reasonable occasion to dig out the leotard from your 7th grade jazz recital to take a romp around a crowded shopping mall. Because the anime characters you’re emulating? They’re CARTOONS. They can’t even keep their little animated mouths moving with the pace of the translated English phrases. They just don’t have the same anatomical make-up as real people. You don’t normally see cartoon characters suffering from the unfortunate cottage cheese ass. Cartoons don’t need to maintain their bikini waxes. Imitation may be the highest form of flattery, but animation, in this no pants crime scene, is bordering on debauchery.

In my opinion, fake blood is clearly the hot trend this spring. I think I read something about it in Cosmo. It was either fake blood or fake boobs…can’t really remember.
In a Where’s Waldo-esque scene of anime freaks in a food court, I can spot the no-pants offenders every time.

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